Think of me...think of me fondly....when...we say goodbye....

Wow. I hope everybody's day wasn't as topsy-turvy as mine. I was going up and down all over the place, ecstatic one second and crying the next. Now I just feel numb. And slightly weepy. Now, DON'T PANIC. I am not depressed, at least not anymore. I'm just really sensitive right now, and any time I start singing Phantom of the Opera in my head, I start getting teary. It's a weird mood. And, no, I'm not PMSing.

Even waking up was weird. I woke up singing "Think of Me" in my head, and after going on for a few more lines, I realized how strange it was and marvelled at my odd brain. Then I noticed how much more illuminated my room was. I jumped up and YAY! SNOW! Cool!

So, remembering fond memories of last year's snowfall, I call up Mandy and try to get her to come over, though I really shouldn't bother because she is horrendous at getting to coming over to your house. The only real way that you can get her is by showing up at her house, doing her work for her (it only takes 10 minutes, but in Mandy World it takes 10 HOURS! No, I am NOT joking. It took her that long today.), and kidnapping her.

Feeling exasperated, especially as I had turned down Kirsten and Felicia and Krissy ( sorry I didn't call back! Kirsten got to me first.) to play, I went to Phantom of the Opera yet again con mi hermana y mi madre. I was SO JAZZED. I love that movie. But it's kind of a love/hate relationship; actually, more like a love/misery relationship. So, we go to the movies, eating our macaroni on the way (Mom is actually eating sweet peppers stuffed with my Grandma's cheeseball) and lo-and-behold! Who do we run into but Alex and Ren and the gang. Wow, nice timing. I didn't really get to talk to y'all. Sorry about that.

Finally we get in the theater, and I'm way excited because I am strangely obssessed with this movie right now. It was really cool, yet again, and I caught more things this time than the last. And yesterday I cried watching the end, when he's playing his little monkey music box, but today, I let it out, and it wouldn't stop! It wasn't the, "Oh, how tragic...." crying, it was the, "My husband left me because I've been diagnosed with Severe Ugliness Syndrome (a disease they made up just for me), I'm bankrupt with no family, and to top it all off, I'm PMSing..." crying. In other words, racking sobs that I had to fight to keep in while the movie ended. It was horrible! And I couldn't even hold out, because we stayed till the credits were done, and I just buried my head in my mom's shoulder and sobbed.

I don't know why. It was heinous and embarassing, and I felt miserable. So then we run off and eventually get home, and by then the misery has set in. I officially have no hope, no happiness, and don't know what I'm living for. It, in a word, SUCKED. And I just knew that I couldn't make it better, and had to live it out, when all I really wanted to do was curl up under the blankets and cry myself to sleep. This was at 5 PM, folks.

And the whole time I was depressed because I couldn't listen to or watch The Phantom of the Opera, or do anything. That was all I wanted to do. I was posessed. Nothing appealed to me if it didn't somehow involve that story. It was agony to think about it, and it sent me into tears every time I did. So I basically cried all afternoon.

I was miserable all the way through dinner, and so on, till about 8, when I spent 10 minutes fixing the lighting around my piano to match my mood. After reaching the proper gloominess, I played Moonlight Sonata several times as that fit the atmosphere of the room and my attitude.

Then, a glimmer of hope shone through as I remembered a music book that we had boughten a few years back. It hadn't interested me much then, but now I was desperate.

It was the Andrew Loyd Webber's Anthology for piano.

Glory, how my mood went up. Just playing through those songs made me soooo happy. And after playing for a bit, I got the best idea. I decided that I could sing one of the songs for Scarlet and Gold auditions! Heck, that made me downright giggle with glee. I was so thrilled. That is, if I found a song that I could sing and still be impressive. "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again". Pretty song. A bit high, but I think I can pull it off.

Anywho, the short of it (though if you've gotten this far, it hasn't been short) is that I had one of my weird obssessive moments. They occur occasionally, and generally go away within the period of a week or 2. So, I'm not over it, just satisfied for now. Have no fears though, I'm fine. I may spontaneously break out in tears, but that's just the voices singing in my head. They make me.